I suppose the title of this article is a bit misleading since I’m not going to suggest any one book about sexual technique is better than another. What I am suggesting is that if sexual needs and books on the subject were equated, “most” men and women would not be “reading” the same book.
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For some men, love and sex don’t mix. They save love and marriage for “good” women, and only enjoy sex with “bad” women.
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The phrase “midlife crisis” is an increasingly used catch-all phrase used to explain away a person’s bad behavior regardless of their age. The following are a few clues that the man in your life may be heading for, or in the midst of, a midlife crisis.
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Middle age is a seriously dangerous time for marriages. Men and women are shocked to hear their spouse say “I love you but I’m not in love with you” as they head out the door. Some spouses leave home alone. Others have someone waiting for them.
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Middle age is a dangerous time for many marriages. It certainly was for mine. I faced my own mortality in my middle thirties. When it finally became very clear to me that my time on earth was limited, I anguished over staying in a bad marriage or taking a chance on a new life on my own. Just shy of my 39th birthday, I ended my first marriage.
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In 1995, I wrote the following article for a singles magazine I published at the time. Since that time, it has been reprinted with permission in magazines around the world, loosely rewritten by others, and has been posted to various Web sites with, as well as without, my permission. When I wrote this article I had no idea the impact it would have.
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He’s newly divorced after an 11-year marriage and has been dating a woman 17 years younger than he is. They have not been intimate so far but she is living in his house in the guest room. He’s concerned about the difference in their ages.
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After 23 years of marriage, he moved out of their home and is living with a male friend. Since then he says her he has fallen out of love with her and doesn’t want to “compromise his life” any more. He also has admitted to a very brief affair, a few years ago, which he didn’t enjoy. He blames her for his unhappiness and wants a divorce. She is in therapy.
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After 18 years of marriage, her 41-year-old husband wants a divorce so he can find the passion he’s missing in his marriage. She says his recent affair with a younger woman has left her devastated and him feeling that he’s missing out on experiencing life in a passionate relationship. She wants him to reconsider for their child’s sake because they know they cannot be friends if they divorce.
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He says his wife left home six weeks ago leaving both him and their kids to fend for themselves. Her explanation is that she doesn’t have any complaints, she just doesn’t want to answer to anyone for her time any more. She says she won’t come back unless she finds she made a mistake, and he wonders what the odds are of this happening.
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