Logically, I know that the holidays are no different than the rest of the year and if you’re having a bad year it probably won’t get any better just because everything you see and hear suggests this time of year is just naturally full of warm and fuzzy feelings. Emotionally, though, I really want to believe that something magical will take place at this time of year to make those warm and fuzzy feelings a reality.
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When I remarried, I moved into my husband’s home. My home, on the scruffy side and in need of much repair, sat vacant after our marriage. My husband and I thought it might make a nifty place for visiting friends and relatives to stay but it didn’t work out that way.
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When divorce ends your marriage, you may believe your situation is unique and unprecedented. For you it is, but millions of people are dealing with and surviving divorce every day and you can, too.
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A little over 20 years ago I was feeling sorry for myself. I was divorced and my new relationship was having a few problems, my job wasn’t going as well as it could, and minor irritations were getting blown out of proportion. I remember thinking that things couldn’t get any worse.
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It’s a wonderful thing to be in love with another person. Before your marriage fell apart you knew what it was to be in love and loved by someone else, didn’t you?
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Can’t convince them to change their ways? Desperation definitely won’t help your cause. When your marriage splits into thousands of fragments, none of which you can put back together, desperation becomes a way of life.
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Do you remember how you dreaded coming home because you had to face her? Listen to the gripes, the complaints, the accusations? Remember when he’d walk in the door and all you could think of doing was trying to hide? Remember the bad times?
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At the holidays more than any other time of the year we are supposed to feel particularly warm and fuzzy toward our family and friends. It’s a nice goal but the holidays are dreadful for people involved in unhappy relationships. I just put a lot of different reasons for dreading the holidays into the phrase “unhappy relationships.” Being alone because of divorce isn’t the only reason you might dread the holidays.
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Divorce can make us feel as though we are missing a major part of ourselves… the part that validates our worth… the part that gives us a reason for being. If this person — the center of our entire universe — feels we aren’t worth “keeping,” if this person to whom we have devoted our life is dumping us by the roadside like a bag of garbage, why would anyone else believe we would have value? Most of all, how can we possibly believe ourselves to have value? How can we feel good about ourself?
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For anyone who is going through a divorce, the holiday season ranks right up there with root canals as a fun time. And why shouldn’t it? It’s a time when families get together and share all the warmth and love they’ve stored up all year long for each other.
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