Making the decision to divorce someone you used to love (and may still love) probably won’t happen quickly. It may, but it’s unlikely. You may know something is wrong with your marriage but you can’t quite figure out what. Each day seems bleaker than the day before.
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Did divorce catch you off guard? Or has your marriage been “on the brink” for a number of years? Have you been “settling” for the “security” of marriage even though you felt your relationship could be better?
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When a man or woman walks away from a marriage, their actions may leave family and friends doubting their sanity as well as questioning their motives. What is often crystal clear to the person who leaves is lost to those who remain.
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Most people who do a Web search on “divorce” are at least considering ending their marriage. They may be at the start of decision-making process or they may be very close to their decision.
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This is written for wives. I’m a wife. I understand the concerns. I expect some of you gentlemen to email me with tips I can publish for husbands.
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His wife kept telling him she was unhappy but it wasn’t until she finally filed for divorce that he took her seriously. By that time, it was too late. He says she didn’t tell him she was that unhappy. He says he would have done things differently if she had.
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When your spouse wants a divorce it can be devastating. It’s very easy to wonder what you could have done or should have done to keep him or her from leaving. It’s all too easy to take their actions personally thinking that the reason they’re leaving is because of something you’ve done. And, in some cases, that’s exactly why they’re giving up on the marriage.
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If there’s one undeniable truth we all eventually learn, it’s that we are ultimately responsible for the outcome of our own lives. We cannot control the forces of nature, “Acts of God,” or the acts of other people. How our lives are played out, what we get and give, is under our control.
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Divorce begins long before the legalities start. Divorce begins when your marriage turns sour, when you wonder if it’s worth the fight, when the gentle touch turns to abuse, when the occasional drink turns into uncontrolled alcoholism, or when you learn your spouse hasn’t been truthful in the relationship and knowing that truth you begin deciding whether you should stay or go.
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They’ve been married for less than a year and apparently there’s not been much good about their marriage so far. They dated five years prior to their wedding and things weren’t so great then either but they went ahead with the marriage anyway. She’s now met someone who she likes and doesn’t know how to tell her husband she wants a divorce.
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