It’s a difficult and traumatic situation to be in: you’re married to a spouse who is abusive or cheating or an addict. Life has lost its luster, every day is just another day in a black hole. This isn’t the way you expected marriage to be yet this is the way your marriage has ended up. You’re trapped.
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One of the most stressful times in a dysfunctional marriage is when you know it’s falling apart but you don’t know what to do about it nor do you have any idea what is going to happen to you when the relationship unravels completely. Fear of the unknown gets a tight grip on your life.
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You have to believe in yourself in order to get the most from any relationship in which you’re involved. Waiting for someone else to complete “you” is a lost cause. It’s also unfair to place such a burden on your partner.
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Some time ago, a husband wrote to complain about his wife. She was abusive, argumentative, demanding. He was considering divorce because he was unhappy with her treatment of him. There was another part to this story and it involved someone from his past, who had never really been out of his thoughts throughout his marriage, who had just recently reestablished contact with him.
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On June 10, 1998, at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting, it was stated that “women should ’submit graciously’ to their husbands’ leadership.” This is part of the faith’s new statement of beliefs. Part of the new 18th Article of the Baptist Faith and Message reads, “A wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership of her husband, even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”
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A friend and her husband have been in the midst of a terminal dance. Theirs has been a flawed relationship for many years but it seemed they had come to terms with their individual needs and that kept the marriage intact.
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Does this sound familiar: If you can’t trust your friends, who can you trust? Blood is thicker than water, believe in your family, they want what’s best for you.
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When Martha met Harold, she was a small town girl who captivated the heart of a handsome traveling salesman. After a quick courtship, and marriage in front of the local justice of the peace, Martha joined Harold as they traveled to places she’d previously only read about.
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It is up to each one of us to make the decision whether we’ll try once more to keep our marriage together or to cut our losses and get out of a marriage that is hopeless.
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Susan is in the same place many of you are — trying to decide which is better, staying in a bad marriage, or going out into the great unknown. Her husband has cheated throughout their marriage and she’s at a point of total unhappiness. She’s afraid to leave because of the financial security she would lose and she’s not sure she could improve her life by leaving.
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