I hadn’t dated much when I got married the first time and coming out of a long-term marriage, I really wasn’t too savvy when I dove into the dating pool. Luckily, on my first dive I met Mr. Right. Read more… »

He’s newly divorced after an 11-year marriage and has been dating a woman 17 years younger than he is. They have not been intimate so far but she is living in his house in the guest room. He’s concerned about the difference in their ages.
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For anyone who has been married a long time, getting back into dating mode once the divorce is legally over can be extremely confusing. Dating when you’re young and relatively “unscarred” by life’s little disasters is much easier than dating when you’re healing from the destruction of divorce.
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One of the things about being married for a number of years and then finding ourselves once again in the dating world is that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish between the rules that have changed while we’ve been away from the game and the rules that remain the same.
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Dating is difficult. It can be fun, it can be exciting, it can make you feel good about yourself. Dating can also be confusing and even deadly. It’s particularly intimidating when you’re the left behind spouse, the discarded husband or wife.
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Learning to date again, and taking time to make the right choices, is all part of surviving divorce. Dating while you’re separated and waiting for the legalities to be over is not the time to seek commitment with someone else.
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Taking any relationship slow and easy is the best approach. It’s not always easy as each person may be in a different stage of emotional growth or turmoil and their needs are different. One may be ready for a more intensive relationship or commitment, while the other person may only need someone to give them a hug and a kind word.
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For the person who did not want their marriage to end, or who did everything in their power to keep the marriage together but ultimately ended up divorced, there are a mountain of emotions that must be worked through.
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She asked for advice regarding a situation that surfaced between her and the man she was dating. She is divorced and on civil terms with her ex. An upcoming trip with her children that also included her ex was causing jealousy with the new man in her life.
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Are you angry about the way your marriage ended? Does that anger show up in the conversations you have with people you meet, conversations that eventually turn to your divorce and a rehashing of the whys and what-went-wrongs? Do you even realize how much time you spend talking about the bad deal you got, or how much you wish your husband or wife would come back to you?
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