Her mother and stepfather are in the process of divorce due to his affair with a coworker. She says her mother is depressed and trying desperately to get her husband to come back to their marriage. She wants to help her mother but feels that there’s no hope for the marriage and she’s getting tired of her mother’s questions when she sees her stepdad.
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Every marriage with children that ends in divorce will produce some level of “was I not good enough” in the children involved. What happens as a result depends upon the maturity of the child, as well as the maturity of the parents.
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Divorce brings out the worst in men and women. Whether grabbing at straws to keep the marriage intact, or bent on revenge, children of divorce sometimes become the most unwilling of pawns
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Generally when we think about children and divorce and the harm that divorce may have on them, the thoughts are more toward younger children. They’re the helpless ones, the ones dependent upon their parents for food, shelter, comfort.
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Here’s what she wrote in her email to me: “I’m interested in teenagers and how divorce affects them. Specifically when one parent (father in this case) divulges all information to the child and uses son as sounding board. Has created huge chasm in mother/son relationship.”
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The following are the stories of four children from three separate marriages which ended in divorce when the children were in their mid to late teens.
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Must the children pay the price when their parents stop loving each other? Divorce is an angry, painful time. That’s understandable. When two people have shared their lives and then one decides that life is no longer worth sharing, there will be enormous suffering by both partners.
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His long-term marriage ended when his wife left for her cyber lover. He was left to take care of their three children. He has since remarried while his ex’s life has gone from bad to worse. Now she’s trying to extract revenge on him for moving on without her and he’s worried that she will use the children as pawns in her continuing vendetta against him and his new wife.
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Their divorce is final and her ex is living with a woman who is still married. They share custody of their son and she thinks the son is at risk when he’s at the ex’s home.
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Not every parent is a good parent or a good role model for their kids. Decisions regarding custody arrangements should be based on what is best for the kids.
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